Once again, I found myself vetoing a gig because in the initial discussions - free advice - we met with defensive arguments at every suggestion and comment. If you're considering paying someone for professional advice, I assume the first thing you do is check to see if they have the experience, references and up-to-date knowledge you need. Then you have a talk to see what they think of your project. Can they help? If during the initial discussion, you find yourself constantly disagreeing vehemently with what they're saying, they're not right for you. Keep looking or just keep doing what you're doing now. I've mentioned in earlier articles that I've had some of the most stimulating discussions of my career with Bordeaux clients - great minds - but these were always two-way discussions and brainstorming, never systematic, ego-driven need to be right.

This is all too common in small businesses, the ones where one or two people have bootstrapped their home-built web site into a for-money operation but find they're not getting traction or not getting audience. When I go to a site that has some of the most obvious flaws in content, navigation, brand name, graphics choices, I wonder why these are never justified in a logical, lucid manner. Instead, I hear  this:

"We're not getting any visits, people aren't staying, (aren't ordering, aren't commenting)...."

"Well, you might consider simplifying the menu. In the initial view of your web site, there are 16 destinations. That may be too many choices for the initial visitor to handle. Also, you've got the navigation links pushed down below the fold on Facebook."

"Yes, but I think..." - (goes on to argue but not support the argument)

"You've posted some good stuff on Facebook. It would be great if the 30 people you have managed to attract on your Facebook page would get into discussions, either with you or with other fans."

"We don't really want to see that happen. What we want is..." - (unreasonable expectation about people clicking to purchase through Facebook).

On and on. Now you want me to write up a proposal? Seriously? Sure, it's one sentence:

"Find someone else."

Consultants have the hardest job in the world.

Why? Well, the work is often based on trying to help someone audit, improve or fix their work. The first step in fixing something is realizing it needs to be fixed, which means we have to criticize. However constructive, criticism isn't easy. A good advisor will always try to explain in detail the basis for decisions concerning content and strategy.

First, you'll hear about how many people told them they liked the current (or previous) work. No one ever stops to think that 99% of the time, people will want to tell you something nice about your work (except if they are paid consultants).

Second, no one wants to hear that their baby is ugly. It's devilishly difficult to make people understand that what they see is not what the average visitor coming to see their site, Facebook page or watching a Twitter stream wants to see. Logs don't lie. Look at what people do on the site or how they interact on social media - they do interact, right? If they don't, your baby is probably uglier than you think.

Third, the people who provide the content and strategies might think they're doing a great job. They've been on Twitter for four months, Facebook for a year and armed with this experience, they think they know all they need to make things happens in the best possible way, right? Not. A consultant, the one who's job it is to beautify your baby and fix the personality of your communication, probably has several accounts. The view that a private individual has after being on Twitter and Facebook and reading all the literature is not much experience at all, really. The consultant has deep statistics of multiple projects in the same area of interest (such as wine) and so has a view that no individual can have. There are many tools out there, some free, some not, that help analyze and improve all facets of your presence.

Fourth, anyone with a view of a single project doesn't have the global vision to know how they're doing compared to standards. Twitter numbers and Facebook fans are such a tiny part of the equation that they're really not worth counting, unless they're extremely low. Even then, if the interaction is there, the magic can happen, developing slowly.

Fifth, the language of "Welcome in my Web Site" or awkward grammar tweets make the whole thing look amateurish. If this is supposed to be "communication", is it wise to use your niece to do the translations? She's adorable and smart, but she probably doesn't have the chops to create the right impression in 140 characters. In person, no one minds an accent or a few grammar mistakes, but in writing, it's there for the world to read, day after day. Get a professional, native speaker to translate.

Sixth, don't shoot the messenger, listen to the message. Yes, you are paying someone to help you accomplish specific goals. Advisors are always open to discussion of what they observe or suggest, but should you pay for advice and then disregard it?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Remember, there is one you, but there are millions of beholders.