“Thank you for calling Chicken Delight”

About four decades ago, after my first job, washing cans and bottles in apaint and petrochemical factory - yes they recycled in 1965 - I got hired as general help at a Chicken Delight franchise that was owned by Manny Hamburger whose lifetime dream was to open a burger joint called "Hamburgers by Hamburger". The "general help" gig had the following duties: answering the phone with the "thank you for calling" greeting, burning the hairs off chicken wings with a blowtorch and deliveries.

One snowy night, we got an order to take out to the farthest limits of our delivery area, Bloomington, I think, the boondock suburbs of Twin Cities, where the stadium was later built. Driving in snow is no picnic, but what comes to my mind about this one delivery was the fact that when I reached the door and was about to ring the bell, I heard a voice that could have been from The Exorcist, growling about something indistinct but that could have been "you don't give a damn about what I say" but with more profanity and a mean, mean tone. I pushed the button and an absolutely ravishing young woman came to the door with a beautiful smile. She greeted me warmly, gave me $20 for an $11 order and bid me goodbye in a way that broke my heart, so much I had fallen in "luv" (lust+love) in the 45 seconds or so that had transpired. As soon as she closed the door, as I turned away, theat graveyard voice said "You gave him too much, you ....."

Who were these people and where are they today? Was it just a lousy night with extenuating circumstances, a lot job, a death in the family or was this the husband, brother, father or even mother or sister from Hell?

When I got back to CD, I started making the cole slaw in a big rectangular tub like a sink. My rubber gloved hands were deep into the cabbagy mixture when the phone rang. Once, (start removing a rubber glove), twice, (the other glove off) third time "Thank you for calling Chicken Delight!". I took the order or whatever and not a minute later, the manager Gary, rushed over to me. Gary had told me earlier, "I'm telling you, the clothes make the man!" Coming from a short, fat and ugly guy with no charm, he may have been right about that. Anyway, he came over to tell me that we were supposed to answer the phone "no later than the second ring". After the soul wrenching love of the previous hour, it all came to me in a flash.

You can't let anyone verbally disrespect you. Not your chicken shit boss, not your family, no one. I threw my apron and gloves into the tub of half made cole slaw and told Gary he could both answer the phone and make the slaw, I was outta there. I think my next job may have been on stage at the Vincent Van Go-Go. (seriously)

As you look back on your life, you realize how many branches are in
it. The choice of a job, of a mate, a place to live, a city, a
country... imagine all the possibilities.
 
When I got back to Los Angeles after my first gig in Paris, I
interviewed for and got hired for 3 jobs. I then made a decision to
take one of them, after trying Universal Studios for a couple of
weeks. I never did go work at KMEX, the Spanish-language television
station, but I did have a parking pass. What would have happened had I
taken the KMEX job? Would I be married to an Eva Longoria look-alike
and have five kids? My Spanish chops would surely be excellent by now?
Where would I be today in the job? Management? Still running the cart
player (which is now a computer program)?
 
In Fresno I had a woman friend I was very taken with. She was very
good looking, very bright and had class. What she saw in me, I can't
imagine. I had hair down way past my shoulders and a full red beard. I
liked being with her and she was probably someone I could have made a
life with. What if I had? Would I have continued playing music in bars
or gotten a "'real job"? Would we have had kids? Would we be living
near Stanford (where she moved) or stayed around Fresno. Or maybe gone
to New York? (She worked for a modeling agency.)
 
One night I came home very late to the place I lived and went to sleep
without removing my instruments from the car. I lived in a very
isolated area at that time, way off the street, with no passers-by to
ogle the equipment. Early the next morning, the phone started ringing
and I took it off the hook. What I learned later when someone came
knocking was that the call was the near neighbor to tell me my car was
being broken into. They stole not only all my instruments but a photo
album and an answering machine I had fixed for a friend. That machine
belonged to Hervé Villechaise ("Dee plane bosss, dee plane!") and it
had a very funny tape on it from a comedian buddy of his with a bunch
of great imitations. My photo album had a few irreplaceable things
like the note from Gala Dali and pictures of women I hung out with
while on tour in Europe. But what if I had gone out there to confront
two or more people robbing my car? What if they were armed? What if I
died or was injured?
 
Another time I was out on a highway in the middle of nowhere and Lou
and I stopped to relieve ourselves near a chain link fence. It was
pitch black and we suddenly saw a glint of steel and a light shined at
us. The guy holding the gun was more nervous than I was and I wasn't
exactly comfortable with a gun being waved at my face and body in
alternation. What if the nervous gun went off?
 
We all make decisions every day, but a few of them create branches of
life and death importance. We had often thought of going to Buenos
Aires to see friends. We could have been on the fatal Air France
flight, but that would have been pure chance had it happened.
 
On the other hand, someone else's decision can also change your life.
We were on a flight to Europe from Minneapolis once when the lighting
system went black, emergency lighting came on and the plane began
losing altitude with a change in the engine sound. The pilot announced
that it was nothing to worry about and things were normal within a
minute or so. About five minutes later, the incident repeated itself.
Then I recall the chilling announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost the second generator. The plane has three generators, so we still have one running, but only a maniac would cross the Atlantic with one generator."

We turned around although we were nearly to the point of no return.
Although the announcement was reassuring, the reason I say it was
chilling was the emphasis the pilot put on "only a maniac would cross
the Atlantic..". It sounded to me like the pilot and co-pilot had
argued about it. Would I be writing this today if the co-pilot had
prevailed?

I have been running my own company since 1989, but in the past, I've had a lot of different ways of bringing home the bacon, which I don't eat anymore:

 American Petrochemical: Lab assistant in a plastics and paint factory

 Chicken Delight: Cole slaw maker, blow torch operator, delivery boy

 Vincent Van Go-Go: 6 night a week bar gig (all day free at the beach)

 various music gigs in Twin Cities

 USAF: Cryptographer (not fun)

 various music gigs and recordings in California

 John Mayall tours to Europe and Asia

 Various blues and jazz gigs with John Lee Hooker, John Klemmer

 Laser Images: Laserist and Laserist manager in Van Nuys, CA.

 Universal Studios: Radio technician

 KMEX: video technician

 Générale des Eaux: programmer for small systems, then mini-computers

 GTIE: CAD/CAM manager

 Intergraph France: Liaison for software developed in France (We were on the Internet in 1987 using things like rpipe and telnet.)

 Independent, then founded the company

 Of all the stuff on the list, only a few things really stand out, things that when learned early in life can serve you well. For example,

 - after working in fast food, I can tell you: you should never eat things made be teenagers unless they live with you. Even then, you probably wouldn't want to.

 - you should be thankful there is no obligatory military service, although you learn a lot from the experience which basically amounts to incarceration. Fortunately, I did not get sent to 'Nam.

 - I learned a lot about computing by taking advantage of the training a DEC for operating systems like RT-11, RSX-11 both running on the PDP-11. I took home each of the 20 volumes of documentation of each system and read them through.

 - earning your money as a musician is "fantastically awesome" during the time of your life when you can say those words with conviction. After about 35, it's not that great. Good money (when you can sleep in a room), lots of chicks and playing is a great expression of emotion. Seeing what the guys become later in life is another story. Several of my musician friends are dead.

 - one of the most memorable moments I had was working as a laserist at Griffith Park Observatory. On a few rare nights, the entire L.A. basin was covered in clouds and the observatory was above them. I looked out over a white, fluffy sea of clouds, covered in the bright moonlight from a small island that was to top of the hill. Unforgettable! Someone must have photographed this?